President & Sister's Ostler's personal blog, not an official mission blog, written with the intent of communicating with family, friends and missionary families and sharing the wonderful happenings in the Manila Mission during 2014-2017.
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Returning Home
Elder Bednar shared his helpful thoughts with a group of returned missionaries. Click on this link:
Returned Missionaries Need a Friend, a Responsibility, and Spiritual Nourishment
By Marianne Holman Prescott, Church News staff writer
18 February 2014
Elder Wayne Owens reunites with his family in Salt Lake City after serving two years in the Russia Vladivostok Mission. Photo by Tom Smart, Deseret News.
Just days before his flight left Russia to return home to Utah in
August 2013, Elder Wayne Owens was serving in his last assignment in the
Russia Vladivostok Mission. He was wrapping up his two-year missionary
service and had just had one of the most memorable weeks of his life.
“There was this wonderful family; we had taught the husband and his
wife, and they got baptized the Monday before I left,” he said. “I can’t
think of a more perfect ending to a mission.”
For Elder Owens, that was the best night of his entire mission. Later
that week he packed his bags for the final time and headed to the
mission home, where he, along with other missionaries returning home,
spent time with their mission president and his wife. The missionaries
couldn’t help but reflect on their missionary service.
“It was really neat to talk with my mission president,” he said. “He
saw a lot of [my] transformation. He knew the ‘before’ and ‘after’ and
gave me a lot of encouragement and helped me to see some of the fruits
of my mission.”
In private, they talked about the growth he had experienced, about
the skills and habits he had developed. They talked about future plans
and discussed rules to live by. The young missionary felt good about the
service he had rendered, and he felt he had learned what really matters
in life—that happiness and holiness go together—and how to work hard.
Leaving on such a high note made traveling home from Russia hard.
“It is heartbreaking to leave the people you love,” the young man
said. “When I first saw San Francisco from the plane, my heart sank.”
Just under a year and a half ago, President Thomas S. Monson
announced a change to the age requirement of men and women
participating in missionary service. According to a recent report issued
by the First Presidency of the Church, there are 80,000 missionaries
serving in 405 missions around the world. Never before have there been
so many missionaries out serving, which will cause the number of
recently returned missionaries to grow over the next year.
Although missionaries know the gospel and have exhausted their days
sharing it with others, sometimes their return home can be an
adjustment, with the “new and improved” version of them returning home
to oftentimes the same situation that they left.
“I think that is the hardest thing about coming back—finding out how
your new self can fit,” the young man who recently was known as “Elder
Owens” said. “That first month I tiptoed back into the social scene.
After sacrificing two years—which really isn’t a sacrifice, becoming
way, way better—it would be such a waste to throw that back.”
A PARTING GIFT
For many, a mission is a time of spiritual growth, filled with
gaining knowledge, good habits, and skills. Missionaries have been
taught by their mission president and have learned how to serve the Lord
and dedicate their lives.
Elder Wayne Owens hugs his sister, Emmeline, as his
family welcomes him home to Salt Lake City from serving two years in the
Russia Vladivostok Mission. Photo by Tom Smart, Deseret News.
Before missionaries return home, they have an exit interview with
their mission presidents. While each experience is different because of
the personal nature of the interview, it is a time for mission
presidents to share their “parting advice” and counsel their
missionaries one last time. It is also an opportunity to reflect with
the missionaries about the changes they experienced and how their
conversion to the Lord has deepened and to talk to them about their
future.
“Throughout their missions, I talk to the missionaries frequently
about their future roles as fathers and mothers, husbands and wives,”
said President Jordan Clements of the Minnesota Minneapolis Mission.
“For example, … during a [recent] zone conference in which I addressed
goal setting and planning, I described the vital role these skills play
in their future success as husbands and wives and as parents.”
Whether he is talking about work plans, education plans, or goals for
the future, President Clements said that with some of his missionaries
the guidance and counsel he shares is very personal and specific.
“During our interview, I’ll also discuss weaknesses that the
missionaries may have struggled with prior to the mission and how they
will build appropriate fortifications in their lives to ensure that they
never go back,” he said.
President Matthew Riggs of the Washington D.C. South Mission gives
each of his missionaries a letter prior to returning home. This “parting
gift” shares heartfelt counsel discussing patterns the missionary has
established on his or her mission that President Riggs hopes the
missionary will continue to live at home. He addresses many topics:
planning, studying, testimony, goals, service, temple attendance,
education, and marriage. He also addresses budgeting, entertainment, and
grooming—all topics that quickly approach a returned missionary.
Family and friends smile at the airport in Salt Lake
City as they first see Elder Wayne Owens, who served two years in the
Russia Vladivostok Mission last August. Photo by Tom Smart, Deseret
News.
With good habits already established and advice from a wise mission
president, missionaries seem to be set for success upon their return.
But sometimes the transition is not so smooth, as newly returned
missionaries learn to navigate their more refined selves in the life
they left 18 or 24 months earlier.
In general conference of May 1999, President Gordon B. Hinckley gave
the counsel that every new convert needs three things: a friend, an
assignment, and to be “nourished by the good word of God.” Just like new
converts making commitments to progress in the gospel, returning
missionaries can apply the same principles they used with the people
they taught on their mission as a guide when they return home and adjust
to their new schedule.
A FRIEND
Although he had missed the first week of school, Wayne quickly caught
up as he jumped into his classes and started life as a student at Utah
State University. He signed up for early classes—beginning at 7:30 a.m.
two days a week and 8:30 a.m. two days a week—and began working a
part-time job while living with a few other returned missionaries.
“In some respects it was pretty wild because I didn’t get to see my
family hardly, and then I was right off, but I think in a lot of ways it
was good too,” he said. “It felt like another transfer on my
mission—going to a place I had never lived before in a new environment
with new people. I think it was really good for me. It would have been
pretty easy to kind of slip back two years if I were just hanging out at
home with the same friends and environment. I think that [quickly going
to school] saved some of the growth that came.”
Not all missionaries have the immediate transition to school with an
opportunity to quickly meet new friends and welcome a new social scene.
And drastically cutting ties with old friends isn’t always the best
option. However, missionaries must recognize and constantly evaluate
their surroundings—including people, situations, and influences.
Elder Wayne Owen gets a hug from his mother, Cynthia,
and sister, Emmeline, as they welcome him home to Salt Lake City from
serving two years in the Russia Vladivostok Mission. Photo by Tom Smart,
Deseret News.
Wayne said that he has been very careful of his living
arrangements—living with people who have his same standards—and tries to
stay away from environments that aren’t good. He has given himself a
curfew and makes time to go to the temple—often with his older brother.
For him, it is about choosing to associate with people who are a
positive influence and making an effort to continue to keep the good
habits he learned on his mission.
A RESPONSIBILITY
Depending on where missionaries return home, they may head to a large
singles ward or to a small family branch. Sometimes it takes time to
receive a calling. Sometimes the calling is something they have never
done. No matter the situation, a willingness to serve will help
returning missionaries keep their testimonies strong as well as help in
their units.
“As they come home they have an opportunity to talk with their
bishops, and I encourage [bishops] to be ready to issue an opportunity
to serve,” said President Bryant A. Baker of the Charlotte North
Carolina Central Stake. “I see if the missionary is planning to attend
the young single adult ward or a family ward—both have opportunities to
serve, and each of those wards can offer those opportunities.”
In the Charlotte North Carolina Central Stake there is a young single
adult ward, a Spanish branch, and other family wards. President Baker
has seen how strong and faithful returned missionaries have helped ward
members—no matter the type of Church unit they attend.
“I’ve seen [newly returned missionaries] in positions where they have
opportunity to work with young men preparing for missions, [some] are
able to continue with missionary work by being a ward missionary or in
the elders quorum, and, in a few instances, we have them serving in
leadership capacities,” President Baker said.
Two young men who have gone out from the Spanish branch have returned
and have since been married. One is serving in the branch presidency,
and one is serving as Young Men president.
“They are setting the pattern for young men and young women,” he
said. “Adults respect them in those callings and sustain them. It is
good to have a ward that is accepting to have the younger single members
and young married couples serving in these capacities.”
President Baker, who joined the Church as a young adult after being
invited to institute—the same institute building that is in his stake
boundaries—knows firsthand the influence of faithful Latter-day Saints.
“People often think of young single adult wards mainly as a venue to
get young single adults together,” he said. “They are so much more. The
central purpose of that is the same as it is for any ward or branch—to
proclaim the gospel. Our young single adults understand that, and so
much success comes from reaching out.”
NOURISHED BY THE GOOD WORD OF GOD
As Elder Owens was leaving the mission field, one of the most
important topics his mission president counseled him on was scripture
study.
“He made us promise that we would read the Book of Mormon at least
five minutes a day,” the returned missionary said. “Beyond anything
else, if we keep reading the Book of Mormon every day we will be OK.”
When asked if he has kept that promise, he quickly answered, “Absolutely.”
Just as a new convert finds strength in diving into the scriptures,
one of the most important transitions for missionaries to make after
coming home is making the scriptures a part of everyday life.
President Riggs tells his missionaries, “You will likely never study
the scriptures as much as you have on your mission. This doesn’t mean
you will stop receiving revelation or that you should just stop reading
altogether. You should study each day for a sufficient amount of time to
have a revelatory experience. … It can be 15 minutes or 45 minutes. I
try to plan sufficient time so the Spirit can reach me.”
In his counsel, President Riggs also points out that the missionary
is a different person than he or she was before entering the mission
field, “becoming” something much more than they were before they
arrived. He also recognizes that the counsel might not be easy to
follow, but as they follow the teachings, every effort they make will be
worth it. The transformation that takes place in a short year and a
half or two years can be life altering and can set the stage for the
rest of the missionaries’ lives—if they let it.
“We love the missionaries with all our hearts and see them as sacred
instruments through whom the Lord has worked many mighty miracles,”
President Clements said. “We feel blessed to serve with them. We are
eyewitnesses to the miracles the Lord works in their lives as they
faithfully serve Him. The greatest miracles I’ve observed in my life
have been the transformation over two years or 18 months of a halting,
hesitant, yet faithful young teenager [or young adult] into a powerful
man or woman of Christ.”
As missionaries apply the skills and counsel given to them on their
missions, they are able to stay faithful as they make the transition
home and establish habits for the rest of their lives.
“My mission isn’t the most spiritual point of my life,” Wayne Owens
said. “It is a springboard. … More than anything it helped me understand
what life is really all about and that real joy comes from helping
others. It’s not about yourself, and … there is joy in pursuing holiness
and discipleship.”
